Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
September 09, 2003
First Up:
The University of Illinois is studying how odor travels through the air. No word on how they got Anna Nicolle Smith to participate in the study.
Item 2:
The American Medical Association is offering a series of tests to determine if elderly persons are still fit to drive. Those who drink their own urine specimens fail automatically.
Item 3:
Dateline - Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania: Last weekend, the city hosted a nude volleyball tournament. According to a spokesperson, they chose Beaver Falls as their site because Dick Springs, Georgia was already booked.
Item 4:
A Sad Note: "Mini-Me" Verne Troyer has broken off his engagement with fiancÚ - 5' 6" Yoga instructor, Genevieve Gallen. Apparently, friends finally convinced Verne she was just using him to meet Gary Coleman.
Item 5:
A spokesperson for Dick Clark Productions has announced that it has acquired the broadcast rights to the National Paintball League. You know, when I weighed 350 pounds, I played a lot of paintball and the other team always sprayed me with thinner.
Item 6:
A new study has found that the IRS gave out the wrong information 43 percent of the time. IRS Commissioner Henry Lamar said, "We recognize that an accuracy rate of 67 percent is inadequate.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: Jim goes to a Manhattan employment agency to ask if they have any jobs. The interviewer says, "I've got an ace job, working in a strip club. You'll be in charge of dressing and undressing strippers, oiling them down before the show and toweling them down after the show." "Sounds great!" says Jim. "Excellent," the interviewer says, "Can you be in Brooklyn tomorrow?" "Why" asks Jim, "Is that where the job is?" To which the interviewer replies, "No, that's where the line starts!"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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