Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
September 16, 2003
First Up:
Ben Affleck and J-Lo called off their wedding over the weekend. Apparently, they're as bored with each other as we are.
Item 2:
Dateline - New York City: The first gay public high school is already mired in controversy. The captain of the football team wants to take a girl to the Homecoming Dance.
Item 3:
Dateline - Washington State: An inmate at a county jail escaped after he sawed his way through a fence using dental floss and toothpaste. Which, by the way, is recommended by four out of five prison dentists. They eventually found the guy holed up in a motel watching reruns of McGuyver.
Item 4:
I've Got Some Bad News and Some Good News: The Bad News: A man standing on a manhole cover was propelled 25 feet into the air after an underground gas explosion. He hit live electrical wires, received third degree burns, and then crashed onto the roof of a passing bus, resulting in a fractured hip and arm. The Good News: He's dead!
Item 5:
Dateline - Athens, Georgia: An employee at a tire dealership was charged with solicitation of prostitution after offering a woman new tires in exchange for sex. That gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Let's burn some rubber!"
Item 6:
Dateline - Caldwell, Ohio: A 61 year-old woman was arrested for accumulating large amounts of trash. No word on where she got so many copies of the Patriot Act.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: Cadbury Candy has joined forces with the Merek drug company and developed a new, mint-flavored birth control pill a woman can take immediately before sex. They're calling them "Pre-dick-her-mints."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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Webmaster: Jason Parrish at entertainment group