Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
September 16, 2003
First Up:
Ben Affleck and J-Lo called off their wedding over the weekend. Apparently, they're as bored with each other as we are.
Item 2:
Dateline - New York City: The first gay public high school is already mired in controversy. The captain of the football team wants to take a girl to the Homecoming Dance.
Item 3:
Dateline - Washington State: An inmate at a county jail escaped after he sawed his way through a fence using dental floss and toothpaste. Which, by the way, is recommended by four out of five prison dentists. They eventually found the guy holed up in a motel watching reruns of McGuyver.
Item 4:
I've Got Some Bad News and Some Good News: The Bad News: A man standing on a manhole cover was propelled 25 feet into the air after an underground gas explosion. He hit live electrical wires, received third degree burns, and then crashed onto the roof of a passing bus, resulting in a fractured hip and arm. The Good News: He's dead!
Item 5:
Dateline - Athens, Georgia: An employee at a tire dealership was charged with solicitation of prostitution after offering a woman new tires in exchange for sex. That gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Let's burn some rubber!"
Item 6:
Dateline - Caldwell, Ohio: A 61 year-old woman was arrested for accumulating large amounts of trash. No word on where she got so many copies of the Patriot Act.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: Cadbury Candy has joined forces with the Merek drug company and developed a new, mint-flavored birth control pill a woman can take immediately before sex. They're calling them "Pre-dick-her-mints."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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