Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
October 07, 2003
First Up:
Dateline: IraqBruce Willis has offered one million dollars for the capture of Saddam Hussein. He also put a two million dollar bounty on Ashton Kutcher, and, while he was throwing dough around, the action star vowed to pay whoever find Willis' long-lost hair three million dollars.
Item 2:
Today is the deadline for the Bush Administration to come forward with information regarding the source of the leaked undercover CIA agent's name. Opponents of the president have labeled this controversy "Leak-Gate," not to be confused with the Clinton-Lewinsky affair.
Item 3:
California Recall Election Update: Finally some good news for Gray Davis. Political experts say that since Arianna Huffington has dropped out of the race, the governor can count on at least two more votes.
Item 4:
I've Got Some Bad News And Some Good News: The Bad News: Men who smoke marijuana affect their sperm and the speed at which their sperm travels. The Good News: I guess Clinton really didn't inhale!
Item 5:
Dateline: Redding, California Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante, while attending a private fund raiser at a casino said, "I can't imagine anyone finding anything admirable about Adolph Hitler." He went on to say, "I'd raise my fists in anger, but they're full of Indian money."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: An elderly couple was sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the gentleman said to his wife, "Just think honey, we've been married for 50 years. You know," the old man went on, "we were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," said his wife coyly, "should we get naked again?" With a grin, they stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know honey," the little lady said breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were when we were newlyweds!" "I'm not surprised," replied the husband, "One's in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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