Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
November 04, 2003
First Up:
According to the University of Washington, men who do house work get more sex than those who don't. The study also found that the men who do house work have a much higher risk of being rushed to the emergency room with their penis stuck in a vacuum.
Item 2:
Dateline: Los Angeles The City Council has outlawed urination and defecation in public. The council said this has been our #1 and #2 priority.
Item 3:
Ashton Kutcher told TV Guide that he loves being a "father" to Demi Moore's three kids. The only drawback, he says, is that, "We all have the same curfew."
Item 4:
The US Government says chickens are 20 percent fatter than they were 50 years ago. The reason? Less exercise, because nine out of ten chickens won't cross the road for fear of becoming a joke.
Item 5:
The Hubble Telescope has spotted two tiny moons circling Uranus. No word on why the Hubble was pointed at my ass.
Item 6:
Dateline - Puerto Rico - Seven bandits broke into a safe at a Wal-Mart store and stole $36,000. Police said that they were easily able to get away with the cash after a greeter offered to return their cart and said, "Thank you for shopping with us!"
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: An astoundingly beautiful voluptuous woman goes to the gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at her and throws all his professionalism out the window. He tells the gorgeous patient to disrobe. He begins to stroke her thigh. He says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Sure," she says, "You're checking for abnormalities." "That's right," says the doctor. Then he begins to fondle her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Sure," says the woman, "You're checking for lumps." "That's right," replies the doctor. He then removes his pants and proceeds to have intercourse with the woman. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks. "Yes," she says, "You're getting herpes."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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