Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
November 25, 2003
First Up:
According to USA Today, Michael Jackson's camp says that the molestation charges against him are a lie. Of course, his camp consists of his lawyer and eight little boys in one sleeping bag waiting for a weenie roast.
Item 2:
Dateline - East St. Louis, Illinois A man got his middle finger caught in a pay phone's coin-return slot and was taken phone and all to the emergency room. It took doctors three hours to free him. Apparently, the man was engaged in a little foreplay before the real phone sex began.
Item 3:
Democratic Presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich, who is tied for last place, told USA Today that, "I'm fully ready to be an overnight success." He went on to say, "Who am I kidding? I can't believe I got this interview!"
Item 4:
Dateline - Hawaii Bethany Hamilton, the thirteen year-old surfer girl who had her arm bitten off by a shark, said she plans to surf again, exclaiming, "I can't wait to Hang Five!"
Item 5:
The relationship between forty-something Demi Moore and twenty-something Ashton Kutcher is getting serious. According to inside sources, she got him a gold promise ring and he got her a frog and a shiny nickel.
Item 6:
Japanese scientists say they have identified a new species of whale. The scientific name is "Brandoannanicolerickilakeassess."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: A man goes to confession and says, "Bless me father for I have sinned. I had sex with seven different women last night." The priest says, "Take seven lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing." The man asks, "Will that cleanse me of my sins?" The priest says, "No, but it will get rid of that shit-eating grin."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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