Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
January 06, 2004
First Up:
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from The Crocodile Hunter.
Item 2:
Michael Jackson told Ed Bradley of 60 Minutes that since his arrest he hasn't been able to sleep at night. Not because of the arrest, but because the little boys in his bed keep trying to get away. He went on to say, "The cops put my handcuffs on so tight, it turned my skin black."
Item 3:
Jessica Simpson said she doesn't mind being called America's Blonde Ditz, explaining, "Hey, it worked for Lucille Ball." Which makes me wonder, is she really that stupid or does the carpet not match the drapes?
Item 4:
Dateline - Anchorage, Alaska According to wildlife officials, their current problem is that the moose are going through the garbage cans. One eyewitness swore he saw a moose saying to a squirrel, "Hey Rocky, watch me pull a banana peel and a used tampon out of my hat."
Item 5:
A Sad Note Lloyd E. Rigler, the man who made millions selling Adolph's Meat Tenderizer, passed away at the age of 88. Per his wishes, he'll be lightly seasoned, hit with a mallet and cremated.
Item 6:
Another Sad Note - A man waiting in line at a McDonald's drive-through window was shot to death. The sad part? He had just ordered a Happy Meal.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: A man took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats on the fifty-yard line. After the game he asked her, "What did you think?" "I really liked it," she replied, "But, why were they trying to kill themselves for twenty-five cents?" Dumbfounded, the man asked, "What on earth do you mean?" "Well," explained the blond, "I saw them flip a coin and one team caught it. And then for the rest of the game the fans kept screaming, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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