Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
January 13, 2004
First Up:
Osama Bin Laden has released his eighth recording since September 11th. According to industry experts one more and he'll have a boxed set.
Item 2:
Michael Jackson fans plan to travel to Santa Barbara in a show of support when The King of Pop is arraigned on child molestation charges. Organizers say they've already rented a Ford Fiesta and a scooter and have another scooter on stand-by if needed.
Item 3:
Barbra Streisand demands that her swimming pool water be kept at a toasty 76 degrees. She flipped out recently when she discovered it to be a degree hotter, and called her pool guy to complain at 3:00 in the morning. He said, "Hey, if you want it to cool down fast, why don't you dip your vagina in it!"
Item 4:
A Sad Note Charles Dumas, the first high jumper to clear seven feet, passed away at the age of 66. Per his wishes, there will be a quiet ceremony and then he will be buried seven-feet and one inch.
Item 5:
Fund Fact You Should Know According to housekeeping experts, a good way to clean a grungy toilet bowl is with Tang, the orange-flavored instant breakfast drink. And, as a bonus, your dog will feel like an astronaut.
Item 6:
Canadian researchers say they see a sharp rise in children who are allergic to nuts. The most susceptible kids are those under three feet who cling to their father's leg.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: A man at his wife's funeral. While following her casket, one of the pallbearers hits the wall. The casket opens, the presumed-dead wife sits up and shouts, "Honey! I'm alive!" The man says, "It's a miracle, we thought you were a goner." Ten years go by and she dies "again." The man, once again following the casket, says to the pallbearer, "Watch out for that fucking wall."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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