Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
February 03, 2004
First Up:
According to a new Scottish study, elderly men who masturbate experience less depression than those who don't. It also found that they are ten times more likely not to be invited back to a family reunion picnic.
Item 2:
Showtime has renewed its lesbian drama series "The L Word" for a second season. To celebrate, Rosie O'Donnell has challenged the cast to a pie eating contest.
Item 3:
Howard Dean has decided to skip the seven presidential primaries today to focus on future races. He has also unveiled his new campaign slogan, "Dean For President In '04-Get-It!"
Item 4:
Dateline: Romania A team of doctors removed a 175-pound tumor from a female patient. No word on how Jimmy Pardo got there in the first place.
Item 5:
Dr. Joyce Brothers says crying after sex is perfectly normal. Especially if it was sex with her.
Item 6:
Burger King has joined the low-carb craze by introducing the Whopper without the big bun. In a related story, Ben Affleck says he, too, has joined the low-carb craze. He will no longer put his whopper in a big bun.
And Finally:
John O'Reilly won the top prize for "Best Toast" at his local pub with, "Here's to spending the rest of my life in between the legs of me wife." Wanting to share the good news of his victory with his wife, but fearing for his life, he claimed the winning toast was the more humble, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside my wife." The next day the wife runs into one her husband's drinking buddies who asks her how she feels about being the subject of the winning toast. "Aye," she said, "I was a bit surprised when I heard it known' he's only been there twice. The first time he fell asleep, and the second I had to drag him by the ears to make him come!"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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