Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
February 10, 2004
First Up:
A new study found that adults who get seven hours of sleep a night live longer, and those who sleep 24/7 are dead!
Item 2:
Dateline - Brazil: An American was arrested going through customs for allegedly flipping off a camera when they were taking his photo. He was charged with making an obscene gesture and behaving like a Super Bowl half-time act.
Item 3:
Jessica Simpson said that staying a virgin until her wedding night was "magical." Coincidentally, her husband said he felt like David Copperfield when he said, "Watch my penis disappear."
Item 4:
Dateline - Texas: The Department of Corrections said it will no longer post the "last meal" requests of death row inmates on their website. A department spokesperson said it was, "tasteless and demeaning." Ironically, so is prison food.
Item 5:
Dateline - Colorado: The State House of Representatives passed a bill making it a crime to wear aluminum underwear. In a related story, recycling centers will no longer accept returns with skid marks.
Item 6:
One of the top NASA scientist working on the Mars Project says his fascination with space exploration began in childhood. "When I was a kid," he explained, "the blank spots on a map would turn me on." And I guess if there was a hole in the map, there was no stopping him.
And Finally:
A man escapes from prison after being locked up for fifteen years. He breaks into a house looking for guns and money, but all he finds is a young couple in bed. He ties the man to a chair and then, after tying up his young wife, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck and then stops and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there, the man tells his wife, "Listen, this guy looks dangerous. I saw him kiss you on the neck, do what he wants, don't complain, don't resist, just give him satisfaction. Then maybe he won't kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife replies, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, he thought you were cute and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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Webmaster: Jason Parrish at entertainment group