Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
February 24, 2004
First Up:
Red Cross workers visited Saddam Hussein and told him that the hole they found him hiding in has been filled with dirt. "That's a coincidence," replied the flea-bitten freak, "Fellow prisoners have been taking turns filling up my other dirt hole."
Item 2:
Dateline - Richmond, Virginia Sate health officials warn that Winter Vomiting Disease in on the rise with symptoms lasting two or three days, or about as long as a John Kerry stump speech.
Item 3:
Dateline: Bend, Oregon Residents have asked the city to reject any new so-called "Big Box" stores in their neighborhood. Included on the list of forbidden Big Box stores are Wal-Mart, Home Depot and Just Panties For Plus-Size Women.
Item 4:
A Sad Note Jan Miner, the actress who played Madge the Manicurist in the Palmolive commercials passed away at t the age of 86. Per her wishes, she'll be buried at sea, so her family can finally say, "She's soaking in it."
Item 5:
Dateline: Howard, Wisconsin A married couple ducked behind a refrigerator when bullets began to explode in their oven. The husband told police, "I'm not over-reacting when I say my wife's cooking is going to kill me."
Item 6:
A member of The Student Bondage Club at Iowa Sate University was charged with assault, and the whole group is facing strict penalties. The president of the club could not be reached for comment because he was tied up at the moment, but he did release the statement, "Spank me, spank me, I've been a baaaaaaaad boy!"
And Finally:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The birch says to the beech, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he can't tell. Just then, a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you're a tree expert, can you tell if that's a son of a birch or a son of a beech?" The woodpecker takes a peck at the small tree and replies, "It's neither a son of a beech or a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I ever put my pecker in."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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