Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
March 09, 2004
First Up:
A new study has found that people who eat fish are less hostile than those who don't. The only exception? Rosie O'Donnell.
Item 2:
The Bush Administration said that the military is developing land mines that will self-destruct. The prototype is being referred to as, "The Howard Dean."
Item 3:
Dateline: Canada A man accepted a 24-rnonth jail sentence instead of a 20-month jail sentence in exchange for smoking privileges. In A Related Story: Former Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott has chosen to spend eternity in hell instead of heaven, so that she, too, can smoke. Yeah, like she really had a choice.
Item 4:
A Sad Note: Julius Dixon, the songwriter who wrote the #2 hit song, "Lollipop," passed away at the age of 90. Per his wishes, mourners will take turns licking him until he disappears.
Item 5:
Another Sad Note: An Indiana State Trooper said he discovered a bag of cocaine in the diaper of the son of a drug suspect. He found it while changing the diaper after noticing a "large load." The Sad Part: The large load was in the front of the diaper.
Item 6:
I've Got Some Good News and Some Bad News: The Good News: A French woman married her boyfriend posthumously, 18 months after he was killed in a car accident. The Bad News: According to Miss Manners, you are six months late getting them a gift.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: In 1969, Tennessee Mountain Man Herman James was drafted by the Army. On his first day in Boot Camp, he was issued a toothbrush. That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked out several of his teeth. On the second day, he was issued a comb. That afternoon, an Army barber shaved his head. On the third day, he was issued a jock strap. The Army is still looking for him.

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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