Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
April 13, 2004
First Up:
According to a new government study, pregnant women are eating too much fish. Of course, that's not how they got pregnant in the first place.
Item 2:
Dateline--Hot Springs, Arkansas The boyhood home of former President Bill Clinton burned down. Ironically, the fire started in the garage in an old pair of pants.
Item 3:
Dateline--Mexico A pregnant woman gave herself a Caesarean after three glasses of tequila. She plans to name the child, "Worm."
Item 4:
A Sad Note: The inventor of the telephone answering machine passed away. Per his wishes, services are pending, but if you leave a brief message after the tone, someone will get back to you shortly.
Item 5:
Dateline--Fort Worth, Texas: A candidate for the State House says he will run despite the recent surfacing of photos of him wearing women's clothing and earrings. "The photos are innocent," he explained, "I went to a Halloween party as J. Edgar Hoover."
Item 6:
While vacationing in Maui, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger saved a struggling swimmer's life. The ungrateful man said, "Thank you, but Last Action Hero still sucked!" Then Arnold grabbed the man's ass and pulled him to shore.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to inquire about the causes of death. "Well," said the police officer, "The first body is a 60 year-old Frenchman who died of a heart attack while making love to his mistress. Hence the big smile on his face. The second was a Scotsman, 25," he went on, "Who won a thousand pounds in the lottery and spent it all on whiskey. Hence the smile." The coroner asked, "What about the third body?" "Ah," said the police officer, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob from Mississippi, 30, was struck by lighting." "Why is he smiling?" asked the coroner. "He thought he was having his picture taken."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
click here
May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
click here
May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
click here
May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
click here
May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
click here
May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
click here
May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
click here
June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
click here
June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
click here
July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
click here
July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
click here
July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
click here
July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
click here
Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
click here
Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
click here
Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
click here
Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
click here
Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
click here
Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
click here
For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

Copyright ©1997-2019 Bob Zany

Webmaster: Jason Parrish at entertainment group