Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
April 22, 2004
First Up:
Italian researchers are giving older men with enlarged prostate glands botox injections. Proctologists say that, "So far, the procedure hasn't shrunk any prostates, but it sure makes a man's rectum look ten years younger."
Item 2:
Bobby Brown is filming a day-to-day reality series about his life with Whitney Houston. It's tentatively titled, "Scoring Crack For My Wife The Crack Whore."
Item 3:
Dateline--Brazil: Relatives of a dead woman were shocked when they opened her casket and found the body of a man. No word on what Abe Vigoda was doing in Brazil.
Item 4:
Fun Fact You Should Know: The United States grows by one person every 10 seconds. And that number didn't even factor in Baseball Hall of Famer Steve Garvey.
Item 5:
A focus group of union voters has found that most members think that Senator John Kerry is distant, cool and aloof. Senator Kerry could not be reached for comment.
Item 6:
Dateline--Las Vegas, Nevada: Volunteers are trying to count homeless people living on the streets but admit, "We really don't have a system." Coincidentally, that's the same reason people are homeless in Las Vegas.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: A large woman wearing a sleeveless dress walks into a bar. She raises her arm to reveal a huge, hairy armpit, and shouts to the crowd, "Which man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar falls silent, and then a very drunk guy slaps money on the bar and says, "Give the ballerina a drink." The woman chugs it down, lifts her hairy-pitted arm again and asks, "Which man here will buy another drink for a lady?" The bleary-eyed drunk plops down some more money and says, "I'll buy the ballerina another drink." The bartender approaches the drunk and asks, "It's none of my business, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?" The drunk replies, "Any woman that can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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