Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
May 04, 2004
First Up:
Dateline: Virginia - The state has put bugs on the endangered species list. Followed closely by books and teeth.
Item 2:
A new study has found that anorexic women are less likely to get breast cancer. It also found that they are less likely to have breasts, butts, thighs and surprisingly, elbows.
Item 3:
Dateline: Lexington. Kentucky A doctor testing an instrument equipped with robotic arms failed to remove a cancerous prostate from a patient. Apparently the problem began when the arms started flapping up and down saying, "Danger! Danger! Will Robinson! Danger!" before entering the man's rectum.
Item 4:
Question of The Week: Does Jimmy Dean's Sausage website have a bunch of links?
Item 5:
Dateline: Des Moines, Iowa A 300 pound golf ball was stolen from a man's home. Police are on the lookout for a man with the world's largest wood.
Item 6:
Dateline: Reno, Nevada Two clowns, Cuddles and Canoli, were let go from Circus Circus Hotel and Casino as a cost-saving measure. Other cost- saving measures include: Black Jack will now be 12 instead of 21. Rename the hotel, "Just Circus." Replace the trademark elephant with a live, local republican law-maker, slashing the hay budget by half.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence, with the exception of two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders brings him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. The elders nod and send him away for seven more years, when he is called in again. He says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years goes by and at their scheduled meeting, he says, "I quit." "Well, that doesn't surprise us," said the eldest elder, "All you've done since you got here is bitch and complain."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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