Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
May 18, 2004
First Up:
Dateline -- Santa Barbara, California: A woman saved a choking gas station attendant's life. She used the Heimlich Maneuver to dislodge a wad of cash he had just received for a tank of gas.
Item 2:
Dateline -- Portland, Oregon: A cab driver took a fare from Portland to Milwaukee, Wisconsin in exchange for three thousand dollars. In a related story, Paramount Pictures bought the rights to the tale, and will soon begin filming "Driving Miss Dumb-Ass."
Item 3:
Record producer Phil Spector and his chauffer were arrested after the two got into a fistfight. Police were able to stop the fight when they told the Motown King to "Stop In The Name of Love."
Item 4:
Question of The Week: When counseling a homeless man, do you tell him to think outside the cardboard box?
Item 5:
A Sad Note: An Alaskan man was found guilty of killing his mom and entombing her in the breakfast nook in her trailer. He then rented the trailer to a friend who discovered the body a month later. The Sad Part The tenant was depressed because all that time he thought he was eating alone.
Item 6:
Dateline -- Havana, Cuba: The Cuban Government shut down the country's Dollar Only stores, blaming the United States government for economic sanctions. They did, however, keep the "Everything's A Peso" and the "99 Centavos Only" stores open for business.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week: Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench talking about the day's events. Suddenly, a flasher approached them, opened his trench coat and exposed himself. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude had a stroke. And Tilly, being the oldest and most feeble, couldn't reach that far.

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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