Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
January 17, 2006
First Up:
It's official: Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby. This is the first child for Pitt and the first for Jolie that will arrive via her chute instead of the black market. The A-list fetus has already signed a $10 million sonogram deal.
Item 2:
During Supreme Court Nominee Sam Alito's confirmation hearings, one Senator said to the candidate, "Before we give you the keys to the car, we want to know where you're headed." To which Ted Kennedy replied, "I'll drink to that."
Item 3:
And speaking of Ted Kennedy, he just released a children's book about the life of a Washington DC Senator narrated by a dog named Splash. He's already working on a sequel about a cat named Gurgles who gets a ride from the Senator.
Item 4:
And speaking of children's books, Stanley "Tookie" Williams also wrote a few before his execution, using a ghostwriter. Does that mean he'll be able to write them himself after he fries?
Item 5:
Dateline--New Jersey The Garden State has a new motto, "New Jersey.Come See for Yourself." Beating out, "If You Know What's Good for You, You Didn't See Anything."
Item 6:
Dateline--New Market, Ontario, Canada A urologist testified that a man accused of rape could not have had sex with a woman because his "Mountie" was so big that a woman who hadn't given birth simply couldn't have accommodated it without serious injury. The defendant's attorney's closing argument got right to the point: "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A man was shopping for lawn ornaments at the hardware store. After making his selection he told the cashier, "Give me four of those pinwheels, two pink flamingos, a dozen sunflowers and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers." The cashier replied, "That will be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology for my wife."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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