Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
January 24, 2006
First Up:
President Bush has requested $114 million to teach US kids to speak Arabic and Farsi. I thought that was reason I didn't vote for John Kerry.
Item 2:
The White House has reason to believe that Al Qaeda is weakening. In a new tape, Osama Bin Laden called for a truce with the US, and announced the name of his new second in command: Ali Ali Oxen Free!
Item 3:
Dateline--Las Vegas, Nevada Shortly before the Miss America Pageant, Miss Nevada said that her state should store the nation's nuclear waste, declaring, "We should take one for the team." No truth to the rumor that "taking one for the team" is how she got her crown in the first place.
Item 4:
A Sad Note: The body of a 64 year-old man was found on a New York City subway. The Sad Part? He had just bought an unlimited ride pass.
Item 5:
A mother is suing Applebee's Restaurant for $75,000 after her five year-old son was mistakenly given a Long Island Iced Tea. She became suspicious when his eyes glazed over and he asked his mom, "What's your sign?"
Item 6:
According to a new Swedish study, researchers believe that humans once used their ears for breathing. Well, that explains why when I dated an anthropologist, she whispered sweet nothings in my ass.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping and pitch a tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce." "Well, I see millions of stars." begins Watson, "And, even if a few of those stars have planets, it's quite possible that there are some planets like earth. And, if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life." "Watson, you idiot." replies Holmes, "Somebody stole our tent."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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