Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
May 09, 2006
First Up:
Last week, I reported that a man was arrested for posing as a doctor and giving away free breast exams. Turns out that he was also arrested a few years ago for going door-to-door delivering singing mammograms.
Item 2:
Tom Cruise said that he could watch his new baby for hours on end, even mesmerized and impressed when she has gas. He said the same thing about Penople Cruz eating a big bean burrito.
Item 3:
Dateline--Grand Forks, North Dakota: A woman who was wanted on a drug-related warrant was arrested after being found hiding inside dryer. The officer said, "This is actually a very common hiding place, which is great for me, because I love the warm, fuzzy feeling of a crack-addict right out of the dryer."
Item 4:
Dateline--Ohio: During the lethal injection-style execution of a double murderer, one of bad guy's veins collapsed, and he sat up and said, "It's not working." This went on for 90 minutes. He should have said, "Can you kill me now?"
Item 5:
Dateline--Ashland, Nebraska: A man whose legal residence is a school bus in a junk yard has been giving the ok to run for mayor. The weird part? The mayor's residence is a dump truck.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A man enters a bus with both pockets full of golf balls and sits next to a blonde. The blonde looks puzzled, and after a long, uncomfortable stare, the man says, "It's golf balls." She keeps staring and finally says, "Does that hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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