Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
May 30, 2006
First Up:
Angelina Jolie gave birth to Brad Pitt's baby over the weekend. This is the first of Jolie's children to arrive without paying off border guards in a third world country.
Item 2:
According to just-hired White House Spokesperson Tony Snow, Secretary of The Treasury, John Snow, is leaving his post. He said it's all part of The President's "Snow Job Replacement Program."
Item 3:
Fun Facts You Should Know Following are a few "Pirate Talk-to-English" translations: "Me hearty" means "my friend," "Shiver me timbers!" is used for "I can't believe it!" and "Well blow me down" is what pirates say when they meet Sigfried and Roy.
Item 4:
A Sad Note: Eli A. Rubenstein, a psychologist who studied the effects of TV violence on children passed away at age 87. Family members say he was probably working when he died, since he was found wearing just a diaper, and had a giant anvil in his head. A coyote was spotted running away from the scene.
Item 5:
A passenger aboard a Carnival cruise ship was reported missing. Authorities suspect he jumped overboard. The Captain said it could have been worse, since he was leading the Congo line.
Item 6:
Dateline--Los Angeles, California Eight teenagers, including two in the trunk, packed into a Nissan Sentra, survived a plunge over Mullholland Drive. No truth to the rumor that they were celebrating, How Immigrants Get Into The Country Day.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A wise old Mother Superior was on her deathbed. The nuns gathered around and tried to make her comfortable. One offered her a glass of warm milk, but she refused it. The nun remembered a bottle of Irish whiskey in the kitchen, and added a generous dose to the milk. The dying nun tasted it, then took another sip, then a gulp, and soon, every drop was gone. "Mother," another nun asked, "Please give us some wisdom before you die." Barely audible, but with a serene look on her face, the Mother Superior answered, "Don't sell that cow."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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