Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
August 01, 2006
First Up:
Former 'N Sync band member Lance Bass is gay. To celebrate his official coming out, Bass is hoping to form a new group featuring Elton John, George Michael and Boy George called, "The Back Door Boys."
Item 2:
Opera Super Star, Luciano Pavarotti said that despite his cancer surgery, he plans to finish his tour. The 300-pound tenor declared, "It ain't over until I put on a wig, a dress and sing."
Item 3:
Responding to President Bush's idiotic veto of stem cell research funding, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow explained, "People like leadership much better than a finger in the wind." I agree. Especially if you have to pull that finger to create the wind.
Item 4:
Question of The Week: Does a pessimistic coffee drinker see the mug as half and half full?"
Item 5:
North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il married his former secretary. I hear the 64 year-old was so excited on his honeymoon night that two of his missiles shot off early. And judging by the wedding photos, both of them fell into the Dead Sea.
Item 6:
A new British version of Monopoly has been introduced in England. It replaces Boardwalk with Buckingham Palace, and adds a Chance card that rewards one lucky player with a reality TV show. A new pitfall replaces the "Pay Hospital $15" Community Chest card with a "Visit The Dentist, Pay Four Million Pounds" card.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A man and his wife are working in the garden. The man looks over at his wife's butt and says, "Your butt is getting really big. I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the BBQ." Determined to prove his point, the man grabs a tape measure, and sure enough, his wife's butt is two inches bigger than the BBQ. That night in bed, the man gets a little frisky. He makes his move, and she pushes him away. "What's wrong?" he asks. "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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