Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
August 29, 2006
First Up:
Astronomers have removed Pluto from the list of planets, saying that it no longer fits their criteria. However, the huge lump of spinning hot gas has been reclassified as a Star Jones.
Item 2:
A man from Finland won the mobile phone throwing championship with a distance of 292 feet. He was awarded the gold medal and a congratulatory call from past winner Naomi Campbell.
Item 3:
DatelineŚLondon A controversial new show debuted in The West End recently. It features a naked woman cuddling a dead pig. It's called "25 Years of Marriage," changed from the play's working title of "Brittany & Kevin"
Item 4:
Dr. Dean Ornish says the three best ways to beat stress include getting a dog, going to church and making love. The doctor advises that if you really want to avoid stress, don't do all three at once.
Item 5:
According to The Gay and Lesbian Alliance, only nine homosexuals are depicted on network TV this season. Defensive execs were quick to point out that when you factor in shots of Kathy Griffin's audience, every show on Bravo and commercials starring Ryan Seacrest, the numbers shoot up dramatically.
Item 6:
New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter is coming out with his own cologne. It smells like a mixture of sweat, pine tar and Mariah Carey. It's called "My Fingers."
And Finally:
An old sailor puts on his uniform and heads for the docks to hire a hooker one last time. Soon he's convinced he's going at it pretty good for a man his age and asks, "How am I doing?" The prostitute replies, "Well old sailor, you're doing about three knots." "Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back!"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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