Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
September 05, 2006
First Up:
A new study has found that the number of Americans infected with genital herpes has decreased by 19 percent. In a related story: There has been a 19 percent increase in people riding horseback in slow motion on the beach.
Item 2:
Dateline--Hollywood, California Ellen DeGeneres suffered mild injuries after being rear-ended by a car driven by two adult males. The men also received a few scrapes. This is the only time Ellen has been accused of leaving scratch marks on a man's back.
Item 3:
Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria says that after viewing the DVD of the first season of the hit show, she saw more opportunists where she could have flexed her comedic muscle. Oh, that's what that muscle is called!
Item 4:
A priest who said he could recreate the miracle of Jesus walking on water drowned during his attempt to prove it. The priest failed to realize that even Jesus would do some warm-up miracles before he broke out the showstopper.
Item 5:
Dateline--Alaska Voters have approved a new ordinance that will require cruise ship passengers to pay $50 apiece to visit the state. No truth to the rumor it will cost $500 per person to leave.
Item 6:
Dateline--Sacramento, California One of the nation's largest gay and lesbian pride parades was held over the weekend. Ironically, hundreds of people cheered as floats worked their way down Streets K and Y.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week Ma was in the kitchen and hollers to Pa, "You need to fix the outhouse." Pa says, "There ain't nothing wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it." So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells, "There ain't nothing wrong with it." "Stick your head in the hole and see what to fix," instructs Ma. He looks around and says, "There's nothing wrong with the outhouse." She yells, "Now take your head out of the hole." Pa does just that, and soon, Ma hears his wail, "Ma, I need help! My beard is stuck in the toilet seat." "Hurts, don't it?" answers Ma.

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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