Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
October 03, 2006
First Up:
This is National Newspaper Week. To celebrate, my wife threw me out the car towards the neighbor's driveway…and she missed.
Item 2:
The makers of the Dr. Phil Diet Pill have settled a lawsuit claiming the pill doesn't work. They have also halted plans for future Dr. Phil products, including, "Speak Like A Yankee" CD set and "Dr. Phil's Miracle Hair Growing Gel."
Item 3:
Fun Fact You Should Know The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds. Of course, you have to kick it just right.
Item 4:
Wait, This Just In I just received an Instant Message from Congressman Mark Foley. It says, "I just laughed at the chicken joke…does that make you horny? Are you wearing boxers?"
Item 5:
Two Americans have won the Noble Prize For Science for their discovery of a method of turning off genes that cause disease. You know, when I put on tight jeans, I turn off my wife.
Item 6:
During an interview on The Tyra Banks Show, Nicole Ritchie vowed, "There won't be a reunion." Lionel's daughter swears that the pair hasn't seen each other in over three years. This of course was Ritchie's response to the question, "Would you like a donut?"
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A rich man and a poor man were discussing what they got their wives for their birthdays. The rich man said he got his wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes-Benz. The poor man asks, "Why two gifts?" "Because if she doesn't like the necklace," explains the rich man, '"she can drive the Mercedes to return it. What did you get your wife?" "Some flip-flops and a dildo," answers the poor husband. "Why those?" asks his rich pal. "Because if she doesn't like the flip flops, she can go f#%@ herself."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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