Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
January 16, 2007
First Up:
Home Depot is set to open several stores in China this year. They are already training employees to say "That's not my aisle," in Chinese.
Item 2:
Soul legend James Brown's body remains unburied while his attorneys fight to settle his estate. Fans stopping by to pay their respects have changed his nickname to "The fastest rotting man in show business."
Item 3:
Nancy Pelosi has banned smoking in The Congressional Lounge. Openly gay congressman/cigar smoker Barney Frank said, "I've got nothing left to put in my mouth."
Item 4:
Dateline--Charlotte, North Carolina The INS arrested 60 fugitive illegal aliens including one man found hiding in a cupboard. When asked, "Why a cupboard?" he replied, "I got into a fight with my wife and she kicked me out of our drawer."
Item 5:
The American Dialect Society has selected "Plutoed" as Word of the Year. It means "to demote or devalue someone or something," and is, coincidentally, a synonym of the First-Runner Up Word of the Year, "Federlined."
Item 6:
A new study has found that a majority of homeless people are single men. Following are the top three pick-up lines used by homeless single men: 1. "Can I buy you a drink? Oh wait, I mean, can you buy me a meal?" 2. "Yeah I'm trying to get in your pants…because I'm freezing!" 3. "Your place or yours?"
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week An ancient old man shuffles slowly into the local ice cream parlor and notices a new girl working the counter. He pulls himself up slowly, painfully onto the stool and, after catching his breath, orders a banana split. "Crushed nuts?" asks the waitress kindly. "No," replies the old man, "arthritis."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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