Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
January 16, 2007
First Up:
Home Depot is set to open several stores in China this year. They are already training employees to say "That's not my aisle," in Chinese.
Item 2:
Soul legend James Brown's body remains unburied while his attorneys fight to settle his estate. Fans stopping by to pay their respects have changed his nickname to "The fastest rotting man in show business."
Item 3:
Nancy Pelosi has banned smoking in The Congressional Lounge. Openly gay congressman/cigar smoker Barney Frank said, "I've got nothing left to put in my mouth."
Item 4:
Dateline--Charlotte, North Carolina The INS arrested 60 fugitive illegal aliens including one man found hiding in a cupboard. When asked, "Why a cupboard?" he replied, "I got into a fight with my wife and she kicked me out of our drawer."
Item 5:
The American Dialect Society has selected "Plutoed" as Word of the Year. It means "to demote or devalue someone or something," and is, coincidentally, a synonym of the First-Runner Up Word of the Year, "Federlined."
Item 6:
A new study has found that a majority of homeless people are single men. Following are the top three pick-up lines used by homeless single men: 1. "Can I buy you a drink? Oh wait, I mean, can you buy me a meal?" 2. "Yeah I'm trying to get in your pants…because I'm freezing!" 3. "Your place or yours?"
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week An ancient old man shuffles slowly into the local ice cream parlor and notices a new girl working the counter. He pulls himself up slowly, painfully onto the stool and, after catching his breath, orders a banana split. "Crushed nuts?" asks the waitress kindly. "No," replies the old man, "arthritis."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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