Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
October 16, 2007
First Up:
Dateline--The White House President Bush will host The Dali Lama today. When asked what he's been doing to prepare for his visit, he said, "I covered the floor with newspapers and bought a bag of baby carrots."
Item 2:
Two new studies have found that a virtual colonoscopy works just as well as traditional invasive methods. Not only is the test quicker and faster, it breaks fewer sodomy laws.
Item 3:
Dateline--Greenville, Maine The town council has given the go-ahead to The Black Frog Restaurant and their "Naked Lunch" promotion. The café owner will give a free prime-rib "Skinny Dip" sandwich to anyone who jumps into the nearby lake nude. No word on what stunt you have to pull to get a free tongue sandwich.
Item 4:
Fun Fact You Should Know The first telephone book had only one page, and half of that was an ad for a personal injury attorney: "Hit by a Model-T? Call Me!"
Item 5:
A team of scientists has discovered that Neptune, one of the coldest planets in the solar system, actually does have a warm spot. Coincidentally, these scientists are also unofficial advisors on the Hillary Clinton campaign.
Item 6:
Dateline--Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania A man became enraged after a convenience store clerk wouldn't give him change for a million dollar bill. According to witnesses, the customer lost it shortly after the cashier pointed to a sign that read, "We Don't Accept Bills Over $500,000."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A man walks into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sits down next to a blonde just as the ten o'clock news comes on. The lead story was about a man threatening to jump off a building. The blonde looks at the man and asks, "Do you think he'll jump?" The man says, "I bet he will." She replies, "Twenty dollars says he won't," "You're on," says the man. Just as she places the twenty on the bar, the man jumps. The blonde sighs, shakes her head and pushes the twenty towards the man. Seeing she's very upset about losing, he man confesses, "I can't take your money. I saw this on the five o'clock news and I knew he was going to jump." "I did to," answers the blonde, "But I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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