Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
October 16, 2007
First Up:
Dateline--The White House President Bush will host The Dali Lama today. When asked what he's been doing to prepare for his visit, he said, "I covered the floor with newspapers and bought a bag of baby carrots."
Item 2:
Two new studies have found that a virtual colonoscopy works just as well as traditional invasive methods. Not only is the test quicker and faster, it breaks fewer sodomy laws.
Item 3:
Dateline--Greenville, Maine The town council has given the go-ahead to The Black Frog Restaurant and their "Naked Lunch" promotion. The café owner will give a free prime-rib "Skinny Dip" sandwich to anyone who jumps into the nearby lake nude. No word on what stunt you have to pull to get a free tongue sandwich.
Item 4:
Fun Fact You Should Know The first telephone book had only one page, and half of that was an ad for a personal injury attorney: "Hit by a Model-T? Call Me!"
Item 5:
A team of scientists has discovered that Neptune, one of the coldest planets in the solar system, actually does have a warm spot. Coincidentally, these scientists are also unofficial advisors on the Hillary Clinton campaign.
Item 6:
Dateline--Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania A man became enraged after a convenience store clerk wouldn't give him change for a million dollar bill. According to witnesses, the customer lost it shortly after the cashier pointed to a sign that read, "We Don't Accept Bills Over $500,000."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A man walks into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sits down next to a blonde just as the ten o'clock news comes on. The lead story was about a man threatening to jump off a building. The blonde looks at the man and asks, "Do you think he'll jump?" The man says, "I bet he will." She replies, "Twenty dollars says he won't," "You're on," says the man. Just as she places the twenty on the bar, the man jumps. The blonde sighs, shakes her head and pushes the twenty towards the man. Seeing she's very upset about losing, he man confesses, "I can't take your money. I saw this on the five o'clock news and I knew he was going to jump." "I did to," answers the blonde, "But I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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