Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
December 11, 2007
First Up:
Dateline-China Doctors discovered a piece of grass growing on a baby's lung. Thankfully, illegal alien doctors were able to go inside and mow it.
Item 2:
Dateline: Sherman Oaks, California Britney Spears was caught stealing a cigarette lighter from a convenience store. When asked why she stole the lighter, the singer said, "Because I wanted to get the kids' Christmas shopping done."
Item 3:
Dateline: Wellington, New Zealand An indigenous tribal leader presented Sir Elton John with a rare, bird-feathered, multi-colored cloak to thank the singer for all the work he has done on behalf of his people. John was thrilled by the gift, but did ask the chief, "Does this make me look gay?"
Item 4:
A Sad Note Hip-hop star, Pimp C passed away at the age of 33. Pimp C is survived by his wife, Hooker A, two kids, Pimp C, Jr. and Hooker B. and their nanny, Vice Squad.
Item 5:
Fun Fact You Should Know Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. I guess that explains the crack in my ass!
Item 6:
Dateline: Davenport, Iowa A woman was convicted for trying to trade her son for a wedding dress. According to fair market value, the boy is actually worth two prom dresses, a tube top and a Kate Spade hand bag. Ironically, the boy was the reason she had to get married in the first place.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A young boy asks his father, "What's the difference between potentially and realistically? The dad thinks for a moment and says, "Go ask your mother, your sister and your brother if any of them would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back with their answers and we'll talk about what you've learned." So off he goes, and all three family members answer "yes" to the question without hesitation. He reports the results of the survey to his dad. "Excellent." says the dad, "Here is the difference between the two words: Potentially you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two sluts and a homo."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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