Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
January 29, 2008
First Up:
Congressman Dennis Kucinich formally announced his withdrawal from the presidential race. He gave a quick farewell speech to his supporter, then hopped aboard a UFO and zipped away over Texas.
Item 2:
The feud between former President Clinton and Barack Obama has gotten so bad that the Senator has reissued his best-selling book with a new title: "The Audacity of The Man From Hope."
Item 3:
A new poll has found that eighty-nine percent of people believe that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic Nominee for president, and sixty-eight percent believe that John McCain will be the Republican nominee. A whopping ninety-nine percent of Chinese people believe both will be nominated by their respective parties, because after all, it is the "Year of The Rat."
Item 4:
Fun Fact You Should Know The world's oldest clam, estimated to be 405 years old, was found off the coast of Iceland. The world's second oldest clam, Joan Rivers' vagina, could not be reached for comment.
Item 5:
The Defense has rested its case in the Wesley Snipes tax evasion trial. His lawyers contend the actor did nothing wrong. In fact, he was just doing research for his upcoming film, "White Men Can't Add!"
Item 6:
A Martial Arts expert in England is teaching the elderly how to defend themselves from attackers using their walking sticks and canes. For those who don't carry these potential weapons, he suggests they look the thug in the eye, take a deep breath and say, "This reminds me of a story…"
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. He told her about a new procedure called "The Knob." "We put a knob on top of your head and whenever you feel a little saggy," explained the doctor, "you just give it a little twist and you tighten right up!" She used the knob for fifteen years and was thrilled with the results, except for two things that still annoyed her. She decided to talk to her doctor about the problems. " First, I have these bags under my eyes that won't go away." The doctor took a closer look and declared, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." "Well then," replied the patient, "I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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