Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
March 04, 2008
First Up:
I went to the movies yesterday and the guy in front of me said, "I want two tickets to 'Definitely Maybe,'" and the clerk answered, "Are you sure?"
Item 2:
A new study has found that men who stare at women's breasts for ten minutes a day are getting the equivalent of 30 minutes of exercise. Yesterday I worked out for five hours, bay-bee!
Item 3:
Sunday's debut of "Oprah's Big Give" was the highest rated program of the night. When asked why she was doing so much charity work lately, Ms. Winfrey replied, "It's just my way of apologizing for Dr. Phil!"
Item 4:
Dateline-California According to a study, illegal immigrants are less likely to commit crimes than legal residents. Upon hearing the news, President Bush promised to start deporting US citizens so that legal aliens can feel safer.
Item 5:
Question of The Week If "No Means No," does "No, No, No Means No" mean you've been turned down by Amy Winehouse?"
Item 6:
Political strategist David Alexrod says it's tough for Hillary Clinton when she campaigns with Bill because, "It's hard to shine when you stand next to the sun." The polar opposite of George W. Bush and his dad: That's a total eclipse!
Item 7:
A 31 year-old woman was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the death of a 76 year-old man after a fight over a parking spot. Before sentencing, the judge asked if the woman had anything to say for herself, and she replied, "Your honor, not only was it a great spot, there was time left on the meter."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A door-to-door salesman shows up at a house and rings the bell. A ten-year-old boy answers. The house is dimly lit and soft music is playing in the background. He's wearing a smoking jacket, holding a pipe and sipping a martini. The salesman asks, "Are your parents home?" "What do you think?"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

May 2
Laugh Factory
Hollywood, CA
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May 3
Laugh Factory
Long Beach, CA
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May 6-9
Howie Mandell's Comedy Club
Atlantic City, NJ
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May 10-11
Murray's Irish Pub
Menominee, MI
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May 14-19
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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May 22-26
The Improv at Harvey's
Lake Tahoe, NV
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May 31-June 1
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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June 15-22
Norwegian Cruise Line
June 23-25
The Ice House
Clean Comedy Challenge
Pasadena, CA
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June 28-29
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 11-13
Helium Comedy Club
Indianapolis, IN
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July 15-21
Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
MGM Grand
Las Vegas, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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July 26-27
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 27-28
The Nugget
Carson City, NV
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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