Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
March 04, 2008
First Up:
I went to the movies yesterday and the guy in front of me said, "I want two tickets to 'Definitely Maybe,'" and the clerk answered, "Are you sure?"
Item 2:
A new study has found that men who stare at women's breasts for ten minutes a day are getting the equivalent of 30 minutes of exercise. Yesterday I worked out for five hours, bay-bee!
Item 3:
Sunday's debut of "Oprah's Big Give" was the highest rated program of the night. When asked why she was doing so much charity work lately, Ms. Winfrey replied, "It's just my way of apologizing for Dr. Phil!"
Item 4:
Dateline-California According to a study, illegal immigrants are less likely to commit crimes than legal residents. Upon hearing the news, President Bush promised to start deporting US citizens so that legal aliens can feel safer.
Item 5:
Question of The Week If "No Means No," does "No, No, No Means No" mean you've been turned down by Amy Winehouse?"
Item 6:
Political strategist David Alexrod says it's tough for Hillary Clinton when she campaigns with Bill because, "It's hard to shine when you stand next to the sun." The polar opposite of George W. Bush and his dad: That's a total eclipse!
Item 7:
A 31 year-old woman was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the death of a 76 year-old man after a fight over a parking spot. Before sentencing, the judge asked if the woman had anything to say for herself, and she replied, "Your honor, not only was it a great spot, there was time left on the meter."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A door-to-door salesman shows up at a house and rings the bell. A ten-year-old boy answers. The house is dimly lit and soft music is playing in the background. He's wearing a smoking jacket, holding a pipe and sipping a martini. The salesman asks, "Are your parents home?" "What do you think?"

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
click here
Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
click here
Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
click here
Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
click here
Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
click here
Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
click here
Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
click here
Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
click here
Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
click here
Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
click here
Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
click here
Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
click here
Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
click here
Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
click here
Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
click here
Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
click here
Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
click here
Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
click here
Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
click here
Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
click here
Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
click here
Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
click here
Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
click here
For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

Copyright ©1997-2019 Bob Zany

Webmaster: Jason Parrish at entertainment group