Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
April 01, 2008
First Up:
During a campaign stop in Los Angeles, Senator John McCain referred to illegal aliens as "God's Children." There are over 30 million illegal immigrants in the United States. Somebody should tell God to wear a condom.
Item 2:
A leading feminist says she supports Barack Obama for President. When asked why she preferred Barack over Hillary, she replied, "I don't vote with my vagina." Wow. That gives a whole new meaning to hole-punch ballots and hanging chads.
Item 3:
A Sad Note Herb Peterson, the man who invented the Egg McMuffin, passed away at age 89. He actually invented it by accident while trying to go down on a muffin without getting egg on his face.
Item 4:
Dateline-Ohio A man was arrested for having sex with a picnic table. I hope he was wearing a condiment.
Item 5:
I've Got Some Bad News and Some Good News The Bad News: People with big bellies have a higher risk of getting Alzheimer's. The Good News: Maybe when they go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they'll forget what to do.
Item 6:
Tampa Bay, Florida An adult film actress has organized the first ever Porn Camp, where amateurs go to learn their craft. The camp's slogan is, "We'll make you s'mores and whores."
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A man took his wife to a rodeo. Their first stop was the bull breeding exhibit. Above the first pen was a sign that read, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband and said, "He mated 50 times last year." At the next pen, the sign read, "This bull mated 150 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week!" Above the third pen, the sign read, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got very excited and said, "That's once a day! You could really learn something from this fella." The husband turns to his wife and says, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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