Click on a year to see the reports: 2008 2007 2006 2004 2003
July 01, 2008
First Up:
The US Government has been issuing stimulus rebate checks to deceased citizens. A top democratic strategist explained, saying, "It's not like dead people don't vote."
Item 2:
Dateline-California A new law goes into effect today, making it illegal to use a cell phone while driving. Hands-free devices are still allowed, so I broke down and got a blue tooth. I actually got two, so I can call my other ear while I'm driving.
Item 3:
Dateline--Unity, New York Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton appeared together for the first time since she conceded the presidential nomination. They told supporters that they "are united." And, much like flying United, beginning today Hillary will start pay a hefty fee to check all of her extra emotional baggage.
Item 4:
A Sad Note Jack Kirkham, the inventor of the spring-bar tent, passed away at the age of 89. He said he got the idea for the tent while he was camping as a young boy. He had a blanket over his crotch while reading Playboy with a flashlight.
Item 5:
Dateline--Gloucester, Massachusetts The Mayor says there's no proof that the 17 expectant high school girls made a "Pregnancy Pact." "The only thing we know for sure," he said, "Is that they were all members of the Jamie Lynn Spears Fan Club."
Item 6:
Dateline--Mars According to NASA scientists, the ice discovered by the Phoenix Lander disappeared because the atmosphere on Mars is too thin to support it. In other words, Martian ice doesn't melt, it simply turns to gas. The complete opposite of Eskimo farting.
And Finally:
The Bing Crosby Joke of The Week A professor was giving a lecture on Involuntary Muscular Contractions to his first year medical students, and wanted to liven things up, so he asked a young woman in the front row, "Do you know what you're a-hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."

Bob Zany's Goodwill Tour Bob Zany's
Goodwill Tour

Click here to see the photos!
2019 Dates
and Venues

Aug. 8
Del Lago Casino
Waterloo, NY
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Aug. 16
Sea Pines Golf Resort
Los Osos, CA
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Aug. 19-25
Laugh Factory
Las Vegas, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Bob Zany in Concert
Carson City, NV
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Aug. 30-31
The Nugget
Taping Carson City Tonight
Carson City, NV
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Sept. 6
Performing Arts Center
Munster, IN
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Sept. 7
Green Acres
Kokomo, IN
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Sept. 8
The Bruin House
Pittsboro, IN
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Sept. 18-22
The Improv
Lake Tahoe, NV
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Sept. 28-Oct. 12
Norwegian Cruise
Out of NYC
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Oct. 18-19
Dry Bar Comedy taping
Provo, UT
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Oct. 22
Throckmorton
Mill Valley, CA
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Nov. 6
The Whiskey House
Ankeny, IA
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Nov. 7
L-Treyn's Bar
Keokuk, IA
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Nov. 8
The Capitol Theater
Burlington, IA
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Nov. 9
The Main Event
Mason City, IA
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Nov. 12-17
Laugh Factory
Reno, NV
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Nov. 21

Rockford, IL
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Nov. 22
The Pixy Theater
Edinburgh, IN
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Nov. 23
VFW
Sullivan, IL
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Dec. 13-14
The Grove
Lowell, AR
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Dec. 31
Kwataqnuk Flathead Resort & Casino
w/ Willie Tyler & Lester,
Jimmy "JJ" Walker
Polson, MT
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Jan. 4
w/ Jimmy Walker
Edgeton, WI
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For information: 818-314-9577
Email: abcmess57@gmail.com

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